Frustration

We're going to jump back in time a bit here - as I mentioned before I started blogging about 2 months into this journey but I don't want to skip over the early stages because they're the hardest.  This post will put some context to my recent small personal victory and tell you how not easy this has been for me so far.

As it always goes, Adam saw results faster than I did.  Testosterone.  Men have more of it and it generally means that their bodies let them lose weight faster and gain muscle more easily.  Adam didn't want to lose much weight, mostly just convert fat to muscle and be a happier healthier him. I on the other hand wanted to lose about 30 pounds.  That said, I'm trying to not focus on the scale and more on the inches and how I look and feel - I may not reach my goal weight but if I look and feel better and my BMI and fat percentages are in line I'll be happy.

We signed up for a 12 week weight loss challenge at our gym.  The promise 'lose up to 2lbs a week working with their trainers'.  We signed up.  I know that  2lbs a week is ideal and won't happen for everyone but I had high hopes.

Our first weigh in was 3 weeks after our starting weights were taken.  I had really hoped for a good weigh in, we'd been working hard, we'd been with the trainer a few times, I'd been eating really well. It had to be good right?

3lbs.  That's okay.  It's a pound a week.  Nothing to sneeze at but not as good as I'd hoped.

The next week I kicked it up a notch.  I worked harder, ate better.

Lost 1lb.

Lost 2lbs.

Gained 3lbs.

I was getting really really frustrated.  Nothing made sense.  I wasn't losing anything.  We met with the fitness manager.  That night it said I was down a total of 5lbs from the start (2lbs better than 3 days earlier).  I lost 2" off my midsection and 1.5" off my hips - okay, that's great.  My BMI improved, but somehow I wasn't showing muscle gain.  More frustration.

After that we met with our trainer.  He told us not to worry about it (Adam's results were similar except he was losing weight).  We're getting stronger, clearly we're gaining muscle.

That was Monday.  We decided to do our next weigh in on Saturday (and all future weigh ins on Saturdays for consistency).

I worked my butt off, I also INCREASED my food.  Yep, increased.  We decided that I wasn't eating enough.  I increased my protein, I ate more, and I worked hard.

Saturday...I had my small personal victory!  I broke 160.  I weighed in at 158.  I was so happy! Finally.

I'm continuing to work hard, I'm eating well, eating more, and eating a lot of protein.  I'm hoping to see 1.5-2lbs a week moving forward.  It'll be hard but I know I can do it.

I'm trying not to focus on the scale.  The measurements matter more and I want to feel healthy, I'd rather be a strong 145 than a skinny-fat 135.