Throwback Thursday

As I've mentioned before, I'm participating in Skinny Meg's Summer Challenge.  Today someone started a Throwback Thursday thread with some before and after pictures.  I happen to be wearing a dress that I bought in October and I knew I had a picture on my phone from when I bought it (that I sent to my sister from the store).  I felt okay about the dress when I bought it, wore it to a pre-wedding party for a good friend in December and was happy with it.

Well...here's that #tbt picture.

Just a little bit of a difference.

Seeing this picture has actually made me a little angry and upset.  Adam and I got married about 14 months ago.  I felt pretty good on our wedding day.  I was about halfway in between the weights in these 2 pictures when we got married.  I felt good, thought I looked good - and in the pictures you can really see how happy I am - that's what matter right?

Well...losing the weight has been hard.  But doing it with Adam has also been fun.  Why didn't I do this before the wedding?  Why didn't I look like my best self when we got married?  I also wish I had looked like I do now for my friend Jennifer's wedding in January.  I felt uncomfortable in my skin then.  While I had some clothes that made me feel great, I wasn't happy.  I wish I had been.  I feel like the fat unhappy bridesmaid in her wedding pictures and that makes me sad.

I'm trying to concentrate on moving forward and not concentrating on the things I can't change.  I can't go back and re-do those days, and there are a lot of great pictures where I'm beaming with happiness on my wedding day and on Jennifer's.

I know I wasn't ready for this journey before or I would have done it sooner.  I needed to do this because I wanted to, because I was ready.  If I'd done it for my wedding or because I felt like I had to it probably wouldn't have stuck - in fact I know it wouldn't have, I lost 10ish pounds before my wedding and then gained it all back plus a bit right after.  I'm determined that this time it's going to stick.  I'm not going to be the girl from October again.

I know this is a little rambly but this Throwback Thursday has thrown me for a little bit of a loop and I just wanted to share my thoughts and get them down on 'paper'.

Another NSV...

If you follow fitness blogs, fitness posters on Instagram or Twitter, or use My Fitness Pal, you may have seen the acronym NSV used.  What's an NSV you ask?  It's a Non-Scale Victory.  NSV's are a way for people who are trying to get in better shape, sometimes by losing weight, sometimes increasing all over fitness or strength, or other personal health goals to share a victory that's not related to the number on the scale.

So often when we try and get in better shape we focus on losing weight and when that scale doesn't move it's very easy to get discouraged.  NSVs are a great way to concentrate on all the other changes that are happening to your body even if that scale refuses to budge.

My body doesn't like to lose weight.  I know that sounds like I'm making excuses but it's true.  I started my journey at 167 pounds at the end of January of this year.  It's now July and I've lost 17 pounds.  For 6 months of work, that's not really a lot of weight, especially when you consider the drastic changes in diet and routine that I've made.  Don't get me wrong - I am in no way complaining about my 17 pounds, I'm VERY proud of them, but it's taken a lot longer for them to come off than I thought it would or than my trainer thought it would.

In the first few weeks I lost about 5 pounds.  Then I lost nothing for 2 weeks.  But in that 2 weeks my jeans went from being almost unwearable to 'I need a belt'.  My weight stayed exactly the same, but all of a sudden I lost inches.  That was my first NSV.

This weekend I had another.

Back in February-ish, I discovered the Banana Republic sleeveless, non-iron button down collared shirts.  I've never been able to wear button down shirts, they don't stay closed properly and just don't fit me right.  This shirt had an amazing fit - I think it's the darts, they're in the right place for a busty girl.

Since that first one, I've bought 2 more.  I have pink, black, and robins-egg blue that I bought just 2 weeks ago.  The pink one, the first one, was a size 10.  The black one was a size 8.  I though the blue was also the same size.  Then, this weekend I was doing laundry and realized it's actually a size 6.

Since I bought that first shirt, I've gone down 2 sizes (or 4 depending on how you look at it).  I was so excited.  This was a huge NSV for me.  It's also inspired me to do some before and after pictures wearing some outfits from a few months ago - stay tuned for those!

A little bragging and some progress pictures

Adam and I have been working out and eating well for a little over 4 months now.  It hasn't always been easy and there have been some days of serious frustration for me.  I've been trying not to weight myself too often and I don't like obsessing over my weight and measurements (my gym on the other hand...the fitness manager there is a little obsessed and it's annoying, thankfully our trainer ignores him).

Saturday I went back to Victoria's Secret, the place where I took my starting pictures (the lighting in their fitting rooms is forgiving and made me feel a little better about myself back at the beginning).  I went back 2 months later and took more.  Today was time for round 3.  (Don't worry - I'm shopping too, I'm not just hogging a fitting room).

February - April - June

Large Pants & 34DD - Large Pants & 32DD - Medium Pants & 32D

I feel pretty amazing about the changes I'm seeing.  It's been a lot of hard work and it's a really great feeling to see it paying off!

It's all about the S.P.V

One thing I'm learning on this journey is that it's all about the Small Personal Victories (S.P.V.).  If you want to get in shape, if you want to lose weight, or if you're just trying to eat better you have to be doing it for you or it's just not going to work.  It's great to have a buddy, someone to motivate you, but it all comes down to what you want and what motivates you.

I've written before about frustrations with the scale, something that anyone who's tried to lose weight probably knows about.  It's easy to forget that some changes aren't measured on a scale.

We all have that outfit that we hang on to hoping that someday maybe it might fit again.  This morning, that skirt fit.  I didn't plan to wear it, I didn't even plan to try it on but something made me take it out of the closet and put it on.  This is a skirt I bought about 18 months ago.  I've worn it once - and that one time required some control top pantyhose and it was still kinda tight.  Today - it fit no shapewear required.  I didn't wear the skirt to work, it's a little short to wear to the office without tights and I refuse to wear tights when it's this nice outside.  Instead I wore a different skirt.  On a whim, riding the high from the skirt that suddenly fits, I tried on a shirt that has been just a little bit too snug for comfort.  It fit too!!  Off I went to work today wearing my new shirt (never before worn) and my great black pencil skirt and I felt fabulous!

A picture of 'the skirt' the last time I wore it -
no picture of it today, but I'll post one when I wear it again!

My outfit of the day - please excuse the bathroom selfie

Baby Steps

We officially joined a gym on January 31, 2015.  I've had memberships in the past, Adam hasn't in many many years.

Because we weren't sure how dedicated we would be (let's face it, we usually give up after 2 weeks) we found a livingsocial deal for 2 months at the gym around the corner from our apartment for $30 each - pretty darn good deal.

Included in that package is a health assessment and a half hour session with a personal trainer.  The assessment session was scary.  I'm not going to post all the details but it wasn't good (at least mine wasn't - Adam's wasn't AS scary).

I will give you some reference though:
Starting weight: 167lbs
Starting BMI: 28.7
Body Fat%: 32.2

Not so good for 5'4 me.

Here's a starting picture (not sure I love putting this out there for the world to see...but if I'm going to do this, I better do it right!)