Well...here's that #tbt picture.
Just a little bit of a difference.
Seeing this picture has actually made me a little angry and upset. Adam and I got married about 14 months ago. I felt pretty good on our wedding day. I was about halfway in between the weights in these 2 pictures when we got married. I felt good, thought I looked good - and in the pictures you can really see how happy I am - that's what matter right?
Well...losing the weight has been hard. But doing it with Adam has also been fun. Why didn't I do this before the wedding? Why didn't I look like my best self when we got married? I also wish I had looked like I do now for my friend Jennifer's wedding in January. I felt uncomfortable in my skin then. While I had some clothes that made me feel great, I wasn't happy. I wish I had been. I feel like the fat unhappy bridesmaid in her wedding pictures and that makes me sad.
I'm trying to concentrate on moving forward and not concentrating on the things I can't change. I can't go back and re-do those days, and there are a lot of great pictures where I'm beaming with happiness on my wedding day and on Jennifer's.
I know I wasn't ready for this journey before or I would have done it sooner. I needed to do this because I wanted to, because I was ready. If I'd done it for my wedding or because I felt like I had to it probably wouldn't have stuck - in fact I know it wouldn't have, I lost 10ish pounds before my wedding and then gained it all back plus a bit right after. I'm determined that this time it's going to stick. I'm not going to be the girl from October again.
I know this is a little rambly but this Throwback Thursday has thrown me for a little bit of a loop and I just wanted to share my thoughts and get them down on 'paper'.